Boundaries: Chapter 1 (Heather)

Hi all, I've finally gotten the book and worked my way through chapter one. I like Quitter's format, fave quotes and then comments. I'll follow her lead.

Heather's Favorite Quotes

• If a person's character makeup determines his future, then child rearing is primarily about helping children to develop character that will take them through life safely, securely, productively, and joyfully. - p. 15
• Boundaries are a key to making any relationship work - p. 17
• When we take responsibility for our part of a relationship, the relationship works, and we all accomplish our goals. - p. 18
• An accurate description of children is that they are little people who are out of control of themselves and attempting to control everyone around them. - p. 18
• The essence of boundaries is self-control, responsibility, freedom, and love. - p. 19
• Wisdom comes only from experience--the big thing a child is short on. A guardian provides the child with a safe environment for learning and gaining wisdom. - p. 19
• A manager makes sure things get done ... They oversee the day-to-day hard work of reaching goals. - p. 20
• In the final analysis, building boundaries in a child accomplishes this: What was once external becomes internal. - p. 21

Commentary:

I love having some "definition" for my & my husband's job: Guardian, Manager, Source. The other day my daughter asked me who my boss is and I didn't really have an answer for that question. It seems that I simply need to be responsible to myself to maintain the home and care for the kids. Sometimes I do okay and sometimes I fail miserably! I appreciate having a framework to think about the work that I do with the kids; and it seems infinitely more important than how clean my bathroom is or how organized my shelves and closets are.

I also really like the picture of helping your children safely experience life so they can gain wisdom. How wonderful to know that you're sending your kids away to college, the military, a marriage, an exchange program, etc. armed with some wisdom to face the myriad challenges that will come their way!

This chapter hammer's home how serious a parent's job is, training up a child to become a wise adult with character. But the authors do it in a way that give you such hope that it's possible. Of course I haven't read much, but I think I'll use principles and ideas from this book not only in our life , but also to encourage others in their parenting.